Allegations Of Abuse Prevention & Survival

by Jodee Kulp and Judy Howell

The Emotional Allegation
Merry-Go-Round

Common Immediate Reactions

ALLEGATION

• Disbelief
• Betrayal
• Fear
• Humiliation
• Confusion
• Powerlessness
• Anger

DECISION POINT

Disbelief - This is not happening to us.

• Standard set of beliefs evaporate into a new set of realities
• The door is open to a new experience without understanding
• The new journey has no road map
• This just cannot be true

Betrayal - Who, what and why?

• Concerned and /or mistaken individuals vs. Allegators
• Misinterpretation or misrepresentation
• What is this about?
• Who made the allegation?

Fear - The Frightening Unknown

• The unknown is frightening
• Thinking the worst
• What is the worst that could happen
• How is this handled
• What is the next step
• Will our life ever be the same again

Powerlessness - Gasping for control

• Feelings of impotence, anxiety and uncertainty
• Reactions from social services are unpredictable
• Decisions about your life are made without your input
• Judgment

Humiliation - Long lasting effects

• Inadequacy, shame, loss of self-respect, loss of self-esteem
• Compounded by isolation
• Public and press may be making own interpretations causing long lasting issues

Confusion - Million Questions, No Answers

• Why?
• What do we do now?
• Who do we talk to?
• Where do we get answers?
• Who made the allegation?
• What happens next?
• Help? Who? Where? When?

Anger - A Normal Response

• Is universal
• Is an appropriate emotion
• Does not exist in an emotional vacuum
• Is expressed in m-any ways and for many purposes
• Responses can be altered

Anger
is one letter short of
DANGER
Be Cautious