Allegations Of Abuse?
Prevention &Survival

jodee kulp allegation trainer Judy Wadsworth and Jodee Kulp trainers for Allegations in Foster, Adoptive and Kinship Care judy wadsworth

by Jodee Kulp and Judy Howell Wadsworth
workshops | writing | keynotes

Common feelings you will have if you face an allegation

Disbelief | Betrayal | Fear | Humiliation |
| Powerlessness | Anger

You will reach a DECISION POINT and
it is common to have this sequence
in getting back to acceptance of your life and calmness.

Disbelief - This is not happening to us.

  • Standard set of beliefs evaporate into a new set of realities
  • The door is open to a new experience without understanding
  • The new journey has no road map
  • This just cannot be true

Betrayal - Who, what and why?

  • Concerned and /or mistaken individuals vs. Allegators
  • Misinterpretation or misrepresentation
  • What is this about?
  • Who made the allegation?

Fear - The Frightening Unknown

  • The unknown is frightening
  • Thinking the worst
  • What is the worst that could happen
  • How is this handled
  • What is the next step
  • Will our life ever be the same again

Powerlessness - Gasping for control

  • Feelings of impotence, anxiety and uncertainty
  • Reactions from social services are unpredictable
  • Decisions about your life are made without your input
  • Judgment

Humiliation - Long lasting effects

  • Inadequacy, shame, loss of self-respect, loss of self-esteem
  • Compounded by isolation
  • Public and press may be making own interpretations causing long lasting issues

Confusion - Million Questions, No Answers

  • Why?
  • What do we do now?
  • Who do we talk to?
  • Where do we get answers?
  • Who made the allegation?
  • What happens next?
  • Help? Who? Where? When?

Anger - A Normal Response

  • Is universal
  • Is an appropriate emotion
  • Does not exist in an emotional vacuum
  • Is expressed in m-any ways and for many purposes
  • Responses can be altered

ANGER is one letter short of
DANGER Be Cautious

A movement back
to a former or
less advanced

Something said
or done
in answer,
a reply.
Keep it in
Anger is bad
Fear is OK
Let it out
Fear is bad
Anger is OK
Choose To
Do Something
Acknowledge Reality
Logically Assess Situation
Determine Further Action
Feelings are feelings
What you do matters
Long-term beneficial action

Life Is Unfair!
Say it! It's OK! Say it Again.
Bad Things Do Happen to Good People!

No matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

Workshops available for Agencies and Associations
Foster Families, Adoptive Parents and Kinship Caregivers

Brief program overview

This site is provided complements of Better Endings New Beginnings. 
It is not intended to convey legal, educational, medical or professional advice. We recommend you find your own local professional who can work with you.



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Making connections to promote restoration and renewal for families and children in crisis and trauma to bridge understanding of FASD. This site does not replace professional medical, legal, nutritional or educational counsel. 
The information contained within this website are ideas that have worked for families with FASD members and you must use common sense, your intimate knowledge of your child, professional advise and safety
in making appropriate decisions.  
We cannot be held responsible for any use or misuse contained within this website. 
1986-2011 Copyright  - All Rights Reserved   Last revised:September 1, 2011.  Jodee Kulp Digital Design