P A R E N T  t o  P A R E N T

Lost in the FAS lane? 
Teaching -- Keep It Simple...

by Jodee Kulp
www.betterendings.org

Each FASD person is different so WHATEVER you do, it has to be adjusted for the person and it has to be done in love, in a positive and supportive way, allowing no chance of failure, so success is guaranteed. People grow when they are successful and FASD kids face so many failures that strategic success is vital.

FASD children for whom we are responsible do not learn as spontaneously or informally as "normal" children. You may have already discovered that what works for most kids simply doesn't work for your child.  They don't just get it, everything must be taught, and by everything I mean every little tiny thing without missing a step. For our daughter we learned that this mothod provided her the foundations and success she needed to add layer upon layout of success. 

For our family it meant breaking each and every task into very, very tiny steps.  It's tricky...this FASD thing. The more we know, the more we need to know. And the more we know, the more we question and think. It's so frustrating and challenging. These kids need grace, quiet, mercy, patience, compassion and forgiveness. Hang in there, here are some of the tips I've learned from teaching our wonderful daughter.

1.    Give your child only one direction at a time.

Mutliple directions are really confusing to a FASD child.

"Stay there and get ready for bed!" 

Imagine what it is like to process each word one at a time... Stay...(ok what did she mean by that)...there...(oh here I need to stay here ok I can do that) and....(and what) get (get what) ready (....huh?....)....totally forget what was said first, may not even understand what was said or may be totally confused by this 2 part direction.

2.    Model and mentor correct behavior. 

Use multiple modality teaching...

1. Caregiver shows and tells FASD person what needs to be done FASD person watches and listens to demonstration
2. Caregiver shows and tells FASD person what needs to be done FASD person watches and repeats back what caregiver is demonstrating
3. Caregiver listens and watches FASD person shows and tells caregiver what has been demonstrated

Reteach, reteach, reteach....Keep it simple....if they are missing it break it down into even a smaller piece or teach something easier to build upon.

Repeating and reteaching can become very frustrating. It is easy to expect the FASD person to simply get it like a normal child. Video taping can be used as a strong encouragement and reinforcement for FASD children. Example- if the child can watch a video of him or herself doing things correctly or mommy or daddy doing things with them correctly, (i.e., brushing teeth, setting the table, playing nicely, cleaning up) and the parent praises the good behavior then the child with FASD would most likely try to "parrot" the behavior. 

3.    Role-playing.

Make a game of it..."I'll be the kid and you be the mom" practice tough issues at home, in the car or when waiting for an appointment. Capture those little teachable moments...and repeat, repeat, repeat.

  • How to meet an older person
  • How to make friends
  • Thanking someone for something
  • Buying something at the store
  • Riding a bus
  • How to ride in a car safely
  • Personal boundaries
  • Property boundaries
  • Behavior at the dentist
  • Behavior at the doctor
  • Behavior in a store
  • Sitting in church
  • Riding a bus
  • Eating lunch in the cafeteria or restaurant

4.    Modify the environment. Environment modification,

Discipline yourself to be sensitive to set up your child for success. This may mean changing plans if the child is too tired, irritable, or nervous. Never go out hungry or over stimulated. The environment is an absolute "key" to the child's success.  Prevent the meltdown from even happening.

When I look back through the years he had two major things in his life - a stable and nurturing home where he was loved no matter what and the influence of really good church groups combined with a complete scouting program. With a lot of support he holds a Chief Scout Award.  
                                                FASlink parent

Some environment modifications include:

  • Providing a quiet, safe area for child to retreat to when over stimulated
  • Area available with dim lighting
  • Sensitivity of caregiver to overload behaviors and safely remove child before child begins expressing these in the creative FASD ways.

5.    Teach a replacement behavior (teaching a behavior that is incompatible with the behavior you want to avoid)

  • Thought-stopping, positive thinking. Help your child recall a successful time in learning. Make these times visible by posting things on walls or refrigerator.  When a thought of not being able, frustration or can't  intrudes, the child can focus on past successes...We say "It remains to be seen just how smart you really are."
  • Reframe Children often blame themselves for the challenge of living with and being born with FASD. "I am stupid" "I am bad" "I can't"  "It's not fair" "It's too hard." Get out a  "responsibility ruler" to guide the child through what child is responsible for..."You're right life isn't fair and FASD is permanent. You are responsible for ...(trying, liking yourself, trusting you can learn, etc)
  • Deep-breathing exercises. Put a stuffed animal, pillow or a little book on their stomach and show them how to breathe from the diaphragm. Since they can't concentrate intently on more than one thing at a time, deep breathing averts traumatic thoughts. This can be helpful . . . when they're scared or when they're having intrusive thoughts." 
  • Progressive muscle relaxation. Lie down with a pillow, blanket, and stuffed animal and has them begin with the big toe on their left foot. "Tighten it up like it's a tin soldier. Now relax it like it's a wet noodle," Then focus on the foot, then the leg, and so on.

6.    Use Motivators 

  • Encouragement and positive attention
  • Rewards and incentives for appropriate behavior and meeting learning challenges.
    We set a goal to be accomplished and just as adults are paid to work, I believe when a child has worked hard in overcoming a specific issue an agreed upon reward is appropriate we have used small toys, money, time with friends, special dinners, movies. 

7.    Use task anaylsis. Task analysis to break the task down into small steps, teaching one step of the task at a time either forward or backward.  We discovered in teaching our daughter to read and write we taught everything tiniest detail using the Reading Works Program.
Sample task analysis to give parents a running start. Have fun in coming up with your own. You will find no task is too small to break down into smaller segments.

The Toilet in 9 Steps (you can reward with encouragement each step of the way - one FASlink mom gave parts of an animal cookie for each successful step accomplished)

  1. Child feels need to go to bathroom
  2. Child gets up
  3. Child walks toward bathroom
  4. Child walks in bathroom
  5. Child shuts bathroom door
  6. Child goes to toilet
  7. Child uses toilet
  8. Child wipes self clean
  9. Child flushes toilet

Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (one small step at a time could take you 17 steps giving only one direction at a time.)

  1. Take out bread
  2. Open bread bag
  3. Take out two pieces of bread
  4. Take out bread knife
  5. Take out peanut butter
  6. Take out jelly
  7. Open peanut butter
  8. Put bread knife in peanut butter
  9. Put peanut butter on knife
  10. Put peanut butter on one side of bread
  11. Wash knife
  12. Open jelly
  13. Put clean break knife into jelly
  14. Put jelly on bread knife
  15. Put jelly on top of peanut butter
  16. Put piece of bread on top of jelly
  17. You now have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Writing a letter "o" (this is a sample of the approach we used with our daughter to teach her writing, reading and spelling. We taught every letter with this method and then moved on to multiple phonograms [letter sounds] ) With this method which is called "Writing Road to Reading" and "Reading Works" our daughter gained 7 years of spelling and 5 years of reading in 2.5 years.

  1. Get a piece of paper
  2. Get a pencil
  3. Sharpen pencil
  4. Put paper on table
  5. Sit in seat
  6. Pull seat up to table
  7. Position paper
  8. Find the margin line on paper
  9. Find the top line on paper
  10. Find the dotted line on paper
  11. Watch and listen to teacher
  12. Teacher demonstrates making letter by saying "starting comfortably close to the margin, at the 2 on the clock position, just under the dotted line, round down to the 4 on the clock. round up to the eight on the clock, round up to the 10 on the clock, round over to the 2 on the clock. Stop lift your pencil and say /o/ /O/ /oo/"
  13. Teacher demonstrates again with child repeating back everything teacher says as teacher demonstrated.
  14. Child tries to show teacher how to do it saying same thing teacher has said finishing with "Stop, lift your pencils and say /o/ /O/ /oo/"

B R E A K I N G D O W N B R I C K W A L L S F O R F A S D

Minnesota Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
P.O. Box 131911, Roseville, Minnesota 55113-0021
 (612) ----------   email: jodee@connetworks.com

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