B R E A K I N G D O W N B R I C K W A L L S F O R F A S D

When is the right time to tell your 
FASD child why they are different?

Insight from Stephen Neafcy, adult with FASD

I did not find out I was FAE until age 43yrs, my life was a living hell! My point of view is the sooner I knew the sooner I could learn and work with my Developmental Disability instead of against it and always coming up short!

In other words if I had known at age 7 and given alternatives on what I was able to achieve and find success at my level of learning it would have made all the difference in the world!

I would have not understood the whole concept of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Effects, BUT I would know through no fault of mine I am not able to successfully compete with my "normal" Friends.

I would be able to have time to accept and work with my abilities I do have, every FAS'er has a talent to be found a yellow brick road to go down and a exciting wisdom to find along the way!

How do you know *IF* they really understand what you are talking about?

We know enough to know we are different and understand very well that! We have a need (A RIGHT if you will) to know the reason we are so different! As soon as we can understand to look, hear etc. we should know that learning will be very difficult, and that something impossible for us to do!

A mother wrote:

I told my daughter age 7yrs. a few months ago, because she kept saying that God made her brain dumb.. so I thought it was time she knew the truth. I don't say she is "Brain Damaged" I simply tell her she learns differently from other kids and we will find the best way to help her learn to be the best kid she can be. It's hard for me to look at her and say she has brain damage,

Insight from Stephen Neafcy

Please know this You are a wonderful Mother, what happen to Your Daughter was not a evil plan on Your part! Put Your energies into Your Daughter, remove the guilt and seek the special plan The Lord had for both of You! Both of You take some time to become a Duo to be wreck-in with, get the word out together about Drinking Alcohol During Pregnancy!

To any parents or others with FASD I am always here for all of You, any questions I can answer or any insights I can give You Please ask!

My Love Steve.

I hate hidden stories, I think the kids will always hear something, and the worry will be worse than the reality. We have never tried to hide from our kids, now 5, 5, and 7, the facts of their adoption or that they have a harder time than other kids because their mother drank alcohol when they were in her belly. We turn this over and discuss it, and my daughter is already planning when she is a mama and has a baby in her belly she is just going to drink water and [herb] tea.......

All the best,
Diane in Sweden

For our daughter, the FASD diagnosis was a release in her emotional self that she was not bad or "stupid" but that she had to learn to live with a cope with brain damage. It allowed her to see her FASmoments with humor and understand her reactions much better. I wish we had known when she was an infant instead of 12.

Jodee
FASD Mom